cliterature

I bought this nut cracker with the vague intention of giving it to someone for Christmas, but somehow that bever happened. When I bought it I thought it was funny but then whenever I considered giving it to someone I thought of all they ways they would misunderstand….

I’m not lesbian

No, I am not suggesting you like naked chicks, honest.

This objectifies women.

It is an object. Objects are meant to be objectified. I mean imagine if you had to worry about personality clashes with your appliances. Other than cars and computers, that is. They are totally temperamental. Oh, and toasters.

This thing perpetuates unrealistic body expectations for women.

It is clearly an exagerated depiction of the stereotyped pinup body. I think that’s the point. Maybe it isn’t. I don’t really care–it’s the point for me. I think it’s funny

Why on earth would you find this funny?

Um, it’s a nutcracker. Don’t you think a pinup nutcracker is kind of… well, ironic? Kitch? Fun?

So you were actually suggesting I was a ball breaker?

No.

I don’t get it.

Oh. Well. Merry Christmas to me then.

Except I scoured the supermarket and could not find a single bag of nuts in the shell.

I may sulk.