Nov 04 2008
To Honor and Protect: condom use in romance novels
The most recent survey that I can find* states that only 12% of romance novels with a contemporary setting included the use of condoms (in 2000)–and in several novels the heroine is shown as rejecting condom use when the hero mentions it. In the same study undergraduates who read romance novels had less favorable attitudes to condoms and were less likely to use them. I have two somewhat conflicting thoughts that relate to whether contemporary romance novels should depict safe sex.Firstly, I feel fiction should not be socially engineered. Authors should be free to write (publishers to manufacture and retailer to sell) any material they they wish. The contents of a novel may influence, but never cause a reader’s behavior. The reader remains responsible for what they read, and for everything they subsequently do. In fact, research is very ambiguous about how fiction may affect behavior. Most studies taken to show that media (such as television) influence behavior (such as violence) probably relate more to the suggestion of a permissive environment–rather than an effect on temperament or long term behavioral tendencies.
So when it is found that romance readers have lower condom us it does not really suggest that romance novels are causing this attitude. However they are certainly not challenging it. And the same study showed that safe and unsafe sex scene were enjoyed equally by readers–suggesting it is a belief than can be challenged without reducing viewing pleasure. And that is where my second belief comes in. I think condom use is romantic and is sexy, and I include it.
If we fit the notion of condom use into the traditional concept of the alpha male I think it fits perfectly. The alpha male is passionate, but he is also caring. He wants to “have” the heroine, but also to protect her. Both sides of the coin are key in the romantic fantasy. And a hero who is not a virgin and has unprotected sex is exposing his lover to any disease he might, no matter how unwittingly, be carrying–and for purely selfish reasons.
So my final position is this: I choose to write safe sex in my contemporary romances. I defend the write of any writer to either write safe sex, or write unsafe sex, or both. But I strongly suggest that every writer think about this, and not just go with their first gut reaction. Just because your initial feeling might be that condoms are not romantic and not sexy does not mean this is really, or necessarily, the case. We write romance in a modern world in which they ways in which a man cares for a women have changed, and change dramatically–and maybe it is time for our romance fiction to undergo some degree of change in response.
* Diekman, McDonald & Gardner: Love means never having to be careful. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 24, 179-188.
I have read several books that use condoms, even one historical novel that suggests one-they called it a french letter. I have also read plenty of books that don’t use them.
I think it depends on the couple. Any modern day couple should really at least have some sort of discussion about it.
I agree, you have to finesse the scene so as not to lose the romance of the situation. But isn’t that the case in real life?
I’ve read both ways, and I write both ways. It depends on the couple and the story really.
It’s a very interesting thought, really. As a writer, I know that the act of putting on a condom is not always moving the story along or just doesn’t work for your scene.
I do think it should be used in YA books and books geared toward teens because of the obvious need to teach them to be responsible, but you can’t mandate it to the author either.
Very complex issue.
~Kelly
http://30somethingandsearching.today.com
I think it does depend. How does the scene work out? Sometimes talking about a condom slows down the scene taking place. But sometimes it can definitely enhance (someone mentioned a funny scene they read, so it’s not entirely out of place). You are right though. It is something that is an issue in this day and age, and writers putting scenes like that in would be completely cool.